And Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep
by Mysteltainn
Summary: The stress of the war and the loss of Sirius has finally gotten to Harry. As he slowly begins to lose his grip on reality, he becomes torn between real life and his dream world. Can anyone save the distressed teen before he completely loses his sanity?
1. Prologue

Author's Note: This is my first fanfiction in several years. I'm hoping to see this one through to the end, and I'm sure you're hoping the same. Reviews will definitely be encouraging. I'm still working out where I'm going with this story. I originally wanted it to be Harry/Voldemort, but it's looking to be more of a Harry/Draco fic. I have the first chapter halfway written, and it should be up sometime tomorrow.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, Deathly Hollows wouldn't have had an epilogue. :/

* * *

"_Stay where you are, Harry!"_

_For the first time, Dumbledore sounded frightened. Harry could not see why. The hall was quite empty but for themselves, the sobbing Bellatrix still trapped under her statue, and the tiny baby Fawkes croaking feebly on the floor --_

_And then Harry's scar burst open. He knew he was dead: it was pain beyond imagining, pain past endurance --_

_He was gone from the hall, he was locked in the coils of a creature with red eyes, so tightly bound that Harry did not know where his body ended and the creature's began. They were fused together, bound by pain, and there was no escape --_

_And when the creature spoke, it used Harry's mouth, so that in his agony he felt his jaw move…_

"_Kill me now, Dumbledore…"_

_Blinded and dying, every part of him screaming for release, Harry felt the creature use him again…_

"_If death is nothing, Dumbledore, kill the boy…"_

'_Let the pain stop,' thought Harry. 'Let him kill us… End it, Dumbledore… Death is nothing compared to this…'_

'_And I'll see Sirius again…'_

_And as Harry's heart filled with emotion, the creatures coils loosened, the pain was gone, Harry was lying facedown on the floor, his glasses gone, shivering as though he lay upon ice not wood…_

As Harry's senses returned to him, he noticed two things. First, he was definitely no longer in that hall at the Ministry, and second, he was lying on the floor, next to a rather large, comfortable looking bed. He slowly sat up, rubbing his head, which was pounding. There was a soft knock on the door to his right, before it swung open, revealing a healthy and clean shaven Sirius.

"Hey, Kiddo," He smiled warmly at Harry. "Your mother says it's time to get up. Draco will be here soon… What are you doing on the floor?" A confused look crossed his face.

Harry stared up at Sirius in shock. He was positive that he was dead now. Dumbledore must've listened to Voldemort and put him out of his misery. He'd never seen Sirius looking so well. And what had he said? His mother? He must be in Heaven. Faintly he became aware that Sirius was now kneeling in front of him with a worried expression, calling his name.

"Harry? Harry, are you okay?" He pressed a cool hand against Harry's forehead. "You don't have a fever…." He frowned.

"What…day is it…?" Harry's voice was raspy. He needed to get something to drink soon.

"Thursday." Sirius ruffled his hair and stood up, offering him a hand. "Come on, Lily says you need to eat before Draco gets here."

Harry's mind was reeling. Why did Sirius keep mentioning this Draco? Who was he? If this was truly Heaven, then it definitely wasn't Draco Malfoy. Not that Harry would ever spend time with Malfoy, even in the after life.

He followed Sirius out into a hall and down a flight of stairs, then into the kitchen. Upon looking around, trying to figure out where he was, his breath caught in his throat. Standing over by the stove, hair tied back in a loose bun, reading a book as she scrambled eggs, was Lily Potter nee Evans.

"M-Mum…" His mouth was hanging open in awe and tears began to rise into his eyes.

"Finally decide to get out of bed? You just missed your father. He's left for work already." She turned around to smile at Harry, then frowned, noticing the tears. "Are you alright, dear? What's wrong?"

Harry opened his mouth to reply, only to find the room spinning. His head felt like it was bursting open again, and he squeezed his eyes shut, grabbing his scar.

"Harry!" Lily's voice was frantic and she ran forward as Harry fell back, collapsed on the floor yet again.

* * *

When Harry's eyes opened again, he found himself back in the chaos of the ministry once again. The hall was beginning to flood with Ministry Officials as they swarmed in from the fireplaces all around. He struggled to sit up, surprised when Dumbledore's hands, weathered with old age, reached out to help him from the floor.

'_It was a dream…_' He thought sadly, swaying on his feet. _'None of it was real…I'm all alone…' _A shuddering sob overtook him, and he fought not to sink back to the floor. Even if only for a few minutes, he'd been so happy. Now, though, he was trapped in a cruel reality, where he had no family left, and was about to be forcefully thrown into the middle of a war that he wanted nothing to do with.

Truly, somebody must hate him.


	2. Chapter 1

Harry Potter was non-responsive, practically catatonic. There was loud chattering and clamoring all around him, the sounds of people trying to figure out what was happening, but none of it reached him. He stared at the floor, swaying on his feet, vaguely hearing his name a few times. Everything was so loud. He just wanted it to go away. He desperately wanted to return to the sweet dream, where everything had seemed so perfect, even if just for a few minutes.

And then he could hear Fudge, yelling at Dumbledore, followed by a horrible wrenching feeling in his gut. He landed on the floor of Dumbledore's office, and just laid there, the cold stone floor almost comforting to him. The portraits on the wall were murmuring, wondering what was wrong with the student who had so abruptly appeared on the floor. He ignored them, closing his eyes and trying to block everything out.

How could he have been so stupid? If he had just been smarter, Sirius wouldn't be dead. If he had just tried harder to learn Legilimency, Sirius wouldn't be dead. If he had just listened to Hermione, if he had been more patient, if, if, if…

Silent tears rolled down his cheeks, he no longer had the energy to actually cry. He was still lying on the floor when the fireplace roared to life in a blaze of green light. He slowly pushed himself up off the ground, not looking Dumbledore in the eye.

He heard Dumbledore telling him that everyone was going to be fine. Nobody had been badly injured. It was great news. Everybody would recover. Sadly, Harry found that he didn't care. What did it matter that everyone was fine when Sirius was dead, and he wasn't?

He cleared his throat, closing his eyes for a moment. "Could we…talk later, professor? I need to lay down…"

Dumbledore seemed taken aback. He peered at Harry over his half-moon glasses, looking worried. After a moment's hesitation, he nodded. "Yes, Harry. Rest for now. We can continue this conversation as soon as you're feeling a bit better."

"Thank you," Harry nodded, heading for the door. It was a long walk back to Gryffindor tower when one felt this tired. Once out in the hall, he leaned against a wall, trying to steady his breathing. He could still see his mother, smiling so sweetly, flour on her cheek from the pancakes she'd made to go along with the eggs.

Dragging himself through the castle, he finally made it to the boys' dorm, where he promptly collapsed on his bed. He wasn't looking forward to when he would have to talk to Dumbledore again, but for now, he would just sleep. His eyes closed again, and he slowly drifted off into a peaceful oblivion.

* * *

Harry woke to somebody jabbing him painfully in the side. He opened his eyes with an annoyed growl, only to find that he was staring up at a rather cheerful looking Draco Malfoy. He was confused. What was Malfoy doing in his dorm, poking him, and looking happy?

"You look like shit, Potter." Malfoy grinned. "Your mum said you passed out like some pansy."

"M-Malfoy…?" Harry rubbed his face, slowly sitting up. What the hell was going on?

"No, I'm Ronald Weasely." The blonde said sarcastically. "Did you hit your head or something when you fell?"

Harry was still trying to figure out what was going on. As he slowly gathered his surroundings, he realized that he wasn't in the Gryffindor dormitories. Instead, it appeared, he was back in his bedroom from the dream. "Um," He looked back over at Malfoy. "How long have I been unconscious for?" "A few hours." Draco had a concerned look on his face. It was rather disconcerting for Harry. "You really had your mum and Sirius worried. I'll go let them know you're up. You get ready to leave."

"Leave?" Harry was confused again. "Where are we going?" He'd decided, that as strange as this dream was, since it was nothing more than a dream, he might as well go along with it.

Draco stared at him for a second. "How hard did you hit your head again?" He asked, almost sarcastically. "My dad's taking us to the game, remember?"

"O-Oh…right." He moved to stand up from the bed. Apparently, he'd be spending his afternoon with his rival and his death eater father. That was going to turn out well. He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair as he walked over to what he assumed was his dresser.

"Alright, well, I'll be downstairs when you're ready." Draco waved nonchalantly at him and walked to the door.

Ater Draco had left, Harry sat back down on his bed, trying to sort out his thoughts. He'd had some strange dreams before, but why was he dreaming about being friends with Draco? And unlike most dreams, things were consistent here. In any normal dream, if he were to think back over what had happened so far, things would be fuzzy and rather nonsensical. This dream, however, he could even remember what happened in the previous one. Everything just seemed so real, as if he was ending up in an alternate reality every time he lost consciousness.

Sighing, he decided he would try to figure out what was going on later. For now, he needed to find something to wear to the quidditch game it seemed he would be seeing today. He went through his clothes in frustration. It was so odd that instead of seeing the ugly hand-me-downs that used to be Dudley's, he was now seeing rather nice dress robes and casual robes. Not being positive of what type of robes one would wear to a quidditch match, he grabbed a rather neutral looking navy blue set.

After getting dressed, he exited his room, trying to find his way down the hall and to the stairs. Several minutes later he'd made his way to the kitchen, where he was immediately ambushed by a worried looking Lily.

"There you are, Sweetheart, are you feeling better now?" She rested the back of her hand against his forehead, checking for a fever.

Harry smiled. It was nice. He never could've imagined what it would feel like to have his own mother be worrying over him like this. It was wonderful. "Yes, mum. Never felt better. Must've just had…low blood pressure or something."

Lily eyed him for a moment, before nodding and hugging him tight. "Good. You better get going then, Lucius is waiting and you don't want to be late for the game."

And with that, they left, Harry's mind still swirling with thoughts. He stared out the window of the Ministry borrowed car, watching the countryside fly by. It was a relatively quiet ride and Harry found that he didn't feel uncomfortable being so close Lucius Malfoy. He didn't seem to be the same imposing, cold Lucius Malfoy of the real world.

"So, Harry," Lucius broke the silence after nearly an hour. "Have your parents decided if they're sending you back to school next year?"

Harry was thrown off. "E-Eh?" What on earth was Malfoy talking about?

Draco glanced over at Harry, noticing his confusion. "Harry hit his head rather hard today, Father. He seems to have some sort of memory loss."

"Oh." Lucius frowned, giving Harry a concerned look. "Are you sure you should be going with us then? I know that if Draco hit his head, Narcissa wouldn't even let him think about getting out of bed."

Harry shook his head. "I'm fine. I've just…forgotten some things." He lied. You can't forget what you never knew. "Like why my parents wouldn't want me to go back to Hogwarts."

Lucius nodded in understanding, still looking rather concerned. "Well, because of Albus Dumbledore, of course."

Harry felt his rage building at those words. Remembering that things were so different in this world though, he took a deep breath, calming himself down. "What's wrong with Dumbledore?"

"Dad, I think we should have the healers take a look at Harry when we get there." Draco mumbled. "I didn't think his head injury was this bad."

Harry shook his head. "No, no, I'm fine. I'm sure I'll…remember in a bit." He went back to staring out the window.

An uncomfortable silence fell, lasting the rest of the ride. Lucius seemed to be deep in thought, and Draco kept shooting Harry worried looks.

xxxxxx

When they finally got to the quidditch pitch, Harry forgot about everything. All of his worried thoughts about what was real were pushed to the back of his mind, in favor of the excitement of everything around him. He jumped when Draco grabbed his hand. "Come on. Let's go find our seats." Draco grinned, tugging on his arm.

He let Draco pull him along, and wasn't surprised to find that their seats were in the minister's box. _"Of course,'_ He thought to himself. _'They are the Malfoy's, after all.' _He shook his head, wondering if Fudge was still the minister.

"Look what the cat dragged in, Ron." A familiar female voice by the door of the box made Harry turn. Ginny Weasley was standing in the doorway, sneering at Harry and Draco and looking rather malicious. Ron was standing next to her, an identical sneer on his face.

"Unless you have seats in here, which I doubt you do," Draco glared at them. "I'd leave before either my father or Minister Riddle get here. Nobody that supports Dumbledore is welcome here."

"Consider yourself lucky that your daddy is close by, Malfoy." Ron was giving them both dirty looks. "Or we'd kick both you, and your little girlfriend here's arses."

Harry's eyes widened as the two of them walked away. If Ginny and Ron seemed to hate him, then what was Hermione like?" He frowned, trying to decipher what all had been said. Obviously, Fudge wasn't the minister. So who was Minister Riddle? And…

Harry's cheeks turned red. "What did Ron mean when he called me your girlfriend?"

Draco glanced over at him, sitting down. "Nothing, Harry. He was just being a prat."

Harry nodded, lapsing back into silence as he sat down next to him. He could understand that. Ron was prone to calling people he disliked by odd names. He settled into his seat, waiting for Lucius and this mysterious Minister Riddle to show up. And then they did.

Harry jumped up, his eyes wide, as the minister walked in with Lucius, the two of them speaking in hushed tones. Minister Riddle looked up, his dark hair showing hints of graying, his brown eyes laughing at something Lucius had just said. "Ah, Draco, Harry…" He smiled at the two of them. "How are you doing, Harry? Lucius told me about your fall." His voice was smooth and silky, his smile charismatic. It wasn't hard to figure out how Tom Marvolo Riddle managed to become Minister of Magic.

"I-I'm fine…" Harry forced himself to calm down. This man was not Lord Voldemort. He did not seem to be evil, and he had not killed Harry's parents. There was no reason to be hostile to him.

"Good, good." Riddle nodded, taking a seat, and going back to talking in the hushed tones with Lucius.

Harry sighed, sitting back down next to Draco, who glanced worriedly at him again. Harry gave him a strained smile and settled back as the game begin.

xxxx

Again, Harry forgot all his worries, cheering loudly as the Holyhead Harpies beat the Falmouth Falcons. He and Draco had jumped from their seats pulling each other into a hug in excitement. It seemed as if everything was in slow motion as Draco leaned in towards Harry. Draco's pale lips pressed against his own, and it was like nothing Harry had ever felt.

A feeling of warmth spread through him, and he found that he didn't care that he'd spent the last several years hating the blonde. He also didn't care that Malfoy was a guy. As Draco's tongue snuck out to caress his bottom lip, he forgot to breath. And then, he was falling into darkness.

* * *

Ron and Hermione were leaning over him as he opened his eyes this time. Harry sat up slowly, ignoring the worried looks on his faces. It wasn't fair that he'd woken up. He ignored Hermione's questions as he climbed out of bed, deciding to go get breakfast. After getting food, he planned to head to the library, to look into alternate realities.

He was determined to prove that the other world wasn't a dream.

Author's Note: Well, that was more difficult to write than I'd expected. I'm having issues plotting out what to do next. This chapter is dedicated to Twinblade Alchemist and oreos and angels. Thank you for being so kind as to put me on alert. You two are what made me determined to finish this chapter, even though it was so hard. XD_  
_


	3. Chapter 2 Rewritten

Harry spent the next several days falling into routine that had everyone severely worried. He ate very little, fell asleep in class, and spent what little time he was awake, huddled in the library. He was resigned, moody., and distant. He rarely spoke, even when spoken to. Those who knew of the events that had transpired at the ministry simply assumed that he was upset over the loss of his god father. Mostly, people left him alone. For this, he was thankful. However, the constant feeling of the worried looks from Ron and Hermione, boring into his back, was driving him insane.

He snapped the book he'd been reading closed and abruptly stood up. The two aforementioned Gryffindors stopped their whispered discussion from across the table and looked over at him, surprised. "Are you alright, Harry?" Hermione asked, nervous sounding.

He nodded silently, beginning to gather the books he'd been reading. "What is it that you've been researching?" She asked, reaching over to help him. "Is it anything that I can help with?"

"No." He replied, rather abruptly, snatching the book out of her hand before she could take a look at its spine. "It's nothing." His voice was sharp, his expression guarded as he balanced the pile of books in his arms and walked away, saying nothing more.

"Harry..." Hermione called after him sadly. She looked over at Ron, who simply shrugged, causing her to sigh heavily. What on earth was wrong with their best friend lately?

Harry paced back and forth across the empty Gryffindor dorm, running a pale hand through his shaggy, dark hair. So far, his search of the library had turned up nothing. Not a single book on the subject of dreams had been helpful, and he was yet to find one discussing the topic of alternate realties. He supposed the subject was more of a muggle idea. This was slightly ironic, he mused to himself, as muggles' perceived reality was an alternate reality of the actual reality.

All of this thinking about reality, he decided, was beginning to make his head spin. Back to the matter at hand, though, he had no idea where to take his search from here. He _could_ make a visit to the restricted section to look, but that would mean sacrificing precious hours with his beloved dream (not a dream, he reminded himself firmly) Draco. The only other choice he could think of, that did not involve asking Hermione, was approaching Professor Trelawney with the subject.

He snorted, rolling his eyes. Yeah, that would go well. She'd tell him that such reoccurring dreams were a sign that he was going to die soon, or some such nonsense. She'd give him an eerie prediction of his doom, in her ridiculously eccentric manner. and then take a nice big swig of whatever was in the brown bottle that she'd taken to carrying with her thanks to Umbridge.

Finally stopping his pacing, thankfully well before wearing a path in the floor, he sat down on his bed, kicking off his shoes. There wasn't much he could do right now in the way of research, so he decided that a nice nap would do. Pulling the bed's curtains shut, he flopped backwards, throwing an arm over his face as he shut his eyes. It didn't take long for him to fall into his voluntary sleep...

Vivid green eyes opening slowly, squinting from the bright morning light casting through the window. Harry looked around the room, a smile spreading across his face as he noticed a certain blonde standing in the doorway. "Good morning, sleepy head," Draco teased, grinning. "Time to get up, breakfast is ready."

Harry sat up, swinging his legs off of the edge of the bed. "Doesn't your mum get annoyed with you being over here every day at the crack of dawn? When was the last time you ate breakfast with her?" He feigned agitation.

Draco shrugged, ignoring Harry's failed attempt at irritating him. "She likes being able to sleep in every once and a while."

"I would too, if you were my son." Harry joked, sticking his tongue out.

Rolling his eyes, Draco smacked Harry on the back of the head, then pushed him towards the door. "Come on, get moving."

"Alright, alright," Harry laughed, grabbing a shirt and pulling it over his head.

Walking downstairs, Draco following, he gave his mother a kiss before sitting down at the table. "So what are we doing today?" He asked, shoveling a forkful of egg into his mouth.

Lily handed him a napkin, giving him a pointed look before responding. "I have to find some homeschooling supplies as I don't want you to miss out on your studies, even though you won't be going back to Hogwarts this year." She told him, smiling as he obediently wiped the food off of the corners of his mouth. "I'm sure you and Draco can find something to entertain yourselves with in Diagon Alley."

Harry nodded. He found himself wishing that he knew what exactly was wrong with Dumbledore in this world. However, as a certain blonde's hand grasped his knee underneath the table, he also found that at the moment, he didn't much care.

Harry woke early the next morning, much to his frustration. He was sure that Dream-Draco was as tired of him passing out every time they were alone as he was, which made him even more frustrated. Lily had had a healer come in the one day and he'd been 'diagnosed' with the muggle disease of narcolepsy. Because of this, he was sure that Draco understood, but still.

Climbing out of bed, he shivered when his bare feet touched the cold floor. He cursed upon noticing that he'd fallen asleep in yesterday's clothing. Grabbing a non-wrinkled uniform out of his trunk, he headed for the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

Seeing as it was Saturday, he skipped breakfast entirely, heading for the library. Ron and Hermione were either still asleep or in the Great Hall, and he took pleasure in the silence that surrounded him. Walking through the aisles, skimming the titles for anything of interest, he let a feeling of peace wash over him. Despite his frustration at the lack of anything fruitful in his search, the fact that he was alone but for Madam Pince was quite pleasant.

Selecting several books off of the shelves (all of which he was positive would have nothing helpful), he walked over to a table and sat down, spreading the books around him. Opening the first one, he settled into his chair and prepared for a long day of reading.

xxx

An hour later found him with his face pressed against an open book, his glasses pushed askew. The thin metal frames would probably bend, as they weren't meant to be pushed on from the side in such a manner. He would probably regret falling asleep in such a position when he woke up.

Wind whistling through his hair, Harry squinted, hoping to catch a glimpse of the little gold ball before Draco did. Bringing his broom to a stop, he hovered about 50 feet off of the ground, scanning the area around him. Off to his right, something glinted in the sun. Before he could react, a blonde blur sped past him, towards the snitch.

Taking off, he sped his broom up, faster and faster, till he found himself neck and neck with Draco. The snitch abruptly dropped down and the two of them broke into a dive, still perfectly even with eachother. Arms outstretched, they both reached for the little bastard of a ball, both hands grasping for it at the same time.

Draco's hand closed around Harry's as his own closed around the snitch, causing Harry to jerk in surprise. He fell off of his broom, onto the ground below, dragging Draco with him. The two teens tumbled through the tall grass, coming to a stop at the bottom of a small hill.

They laid next to eachother for a few moments, laughing, their hands still intertwined around the ball. Laying there, underneath the warm summer sun, a small stream trickling somewhere nearby, a feeling washed over Harry that he couldn't describe. Everything here was so perfect. So wonderful. He wished he didn't have to wake up.

Sensing that Harry was upset about something, Draco pushed himself up onto his elbows, grey eyes locking with green. "Are you okay?" He asked, worry apparent in his features.

Harry nodded. "I was just..." He paused for a moment. "I was just worried about falling asleep again is all." He half-lied.

Draco suddenly grinned wickedly. "I can keep you awake."

"What?" Pink spread across Harry's cheeks.

"I said, I can keep you awake." Draco repeated, leaning down, his face inches from Harry's.

"You can try." Harry replied, daring Draco to continue.

"I'll take that as a challenge."

Draco's lips met his, nibbling and sucking as he slid his hand up Harry's shirt, caressing his warm side.

Closing his eyes, Harry relaxed underneath Draco's touch, enveloped in a feeling of absolute bliss.

In Hogwarts library, the sleeping form of a certain Gryffindor caught the eye of a certain Slytherin. Creeping up behind him and taking out his wand, Draco was giddy. What a perfect opportunity to jinx Potter. While attacking a sleeping foe was low and dirty, the git deserved it for getting his father thrown in prison.

He raised his wand, mouth beginning to form the words of the spell, then stopped. Potter had just whispered something in his sleep. Intrigued by the idea of possible blackmail material, he leaned in, listening closely.

Harry's peaceful face was flushed red with the signs of a particularly indecent dream. Seconds later, the whisper came again, causing Draco's eyes to widen.

"Draco..." Harry let out a soft moan, shifting in the chair as he slept.

Immediately straightening up, Draco turned on his heel and walked quickly towards the exit, picking up speed as he went, nearly knocking over Ron and Hermione on his way past.

xxxx

AN: Completely rewritten and about 80 times better! Thanks to Lia-Lily for being my ever faithful slave driver.

Chapter 3 will be up within a few days, especially if she has anything to say about it. XD


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